There is something that I have never, ever understood. I’ve looked at it from every angle, from every point of view, and I still cannot imagine why anyone would do this.
Now. I’m telling this from a girls point of view, but keep in mind that this goes either way.
Here’s my question: If someone is in an obvious, committed relationship WHY do you constantly text/flirt/ask to hang out with them?
Girls, (like I said, this could be addressed to guys as well) why is it that if one of your guy friends has a girlfriend, that you still feel the need to post flirty comments on Instagram or tweet him back all the time, text him constantly or, and this is one of my biggest problems: ASK TO HANG OUT WITH HIM.
Like, let me just breathe for a second. You want to hang out, one on one, with a guy who has a girlfriend. Correct me if i’m wrong, but if a guy and a girl go out to eat somewhere or hang out at each other’s house, that’s a date. In my eyes.
If both happen to be single, that’s GREAT. Everything is all fine and dandy. If the guy has a girlfriend, NO.
So many things are wrong with that situation. I just can’t even begin to explain it all. First off, what the hell is wrong with the girls who prompt these “hang outs” with guys who are CLEARLY in a relationship? Why on earth would you think that this is okay? For one, 99 percent of girls only hang out with guys because they like him and want a chance to be his girlfriend. Secondly, have you girls ever thought about how that makes his girlfriend feel? Have you ever put yourself into her shoes and thought about how you’d feel if your boyfriend went and hung out with some girl?
Number two. GUYS. I can’t even stress this enough. Why in God’s green earth would you agree to, or even respond to, a girl’s request to hang out if you have a girlfriend? Honestly? All it takes is a simple, “Ah, no. I’ll be busy the rest of this week,” or (if you want to make your girlfriend happier) “I’m hanging out with my girl this weekend, sorry!” You agreeing to hang out with another girl is honestly a huge blow to our happiness. Knowing that you are going to choose another girl over hanging out with your girlfriend, is the worst feeling. So much anxiety and worry comes from situations like this.
Back to the girls. It is so incredibly disrespectful to a guys girlfriend for you to be trying to text him/ flirt with him/ hang out with him all the time. Or even occasionally. STOP. It puts so much stress on their relationship, and if that doesn’t bother you, shame on you. Go find another guy (who’s NOT in a relationship) to bother. Stop trying to be with someone who already has someone. It’s so inconsiderate.
I’m going off on a tangent, but this is something that honestly gets to me more than anything. If a guy picks another girl over me (assuming that I’m his girlfriend) he had better expect for me to be upset at him.
I know that everyone has old friends, friends that they hung out with all the time before they got in a relationship. I’m aware that there is no reason for a relationship to come between friendships. As long as that’s all they are. Besides: here’s an idea! TAKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND WITH YOU. Everyone’s happy.
If you hang out with another girl, plan on your girlfriend worrying and wondering a lot about 1. herself 2. what you and said girl are doing and 3. your relationship. It will happen. It will put stress on both her and the relationship. If a stressed out, upset girlfriend and a strained relationship isn’t something you want to have, I’d stay away from one on one hang outs with friends of the opposite sex.
Personally, I have no problem with my boyfriend hanging out with his guy friends ALL the time. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Girls are a completely different story. It is the one thing that will drive me absolutely crazy. It makes your girlfriend feel like she’s not good enough, so hey. Don’t do it. If you don’t care about the way your girlfriend feels about it, I hope she breaks up with you and finds someone who cares about the way she feels.